Why I'm Not Shedding For The Wedding
What if we stepped on the scale and it said "you are enough" instead of an arbitrary number on which to base our self worth? Interesting, right?
My long time relationship with the scale ended roughly three years ago when I tossed it into the dumpster and never looked back. Yes, this was recommended to me by my therapist, and it was so liberating.
Fast forward to this year and I've been confronted with another diet culture toxicity trend, "shedding for the wedding." Shedding for the wedding reinforces the idea that you must be thin to earn love and therefore be valued on your wedding day. Why do people need to change their body to embark on the next chapter of their lives? Why is it common to talk about fad diets, exercise programs, and how many sizes one wants to lose before the big day?
My ED journey has been a roller coaster; months of highs, periods of lows, and a consistent feeling of simultaneously being one foot in recovery and one foot in diet culture. The past few months have been the hardest for me, as there were countless moments that tested my strength to continue choosing recovery. Dress fittings, food tastings which would have previously overwhelmed me (no doubt) and constant temptation of others around me on various "programs" to achieve some level of control they feel a diet may bring. This "shedding" season has made me realize that my commitment to recovery is even more important.
What has helped me stay on track is returning to my why. My why is to feel peace around food, my why is to inspire other women to ditch dieting, my why is to empower future generations to feel confident, my why is to place more emphasis on moments with friends instead of moments fixating on my body.
When I look back on this time, I don't want to remember all of the moments I skipped out on a drink or dessert because of an ideal body shape I desired. I want to remember the laughs, slices of cake and late nights with friends.
If you resonate with this email, you are not alone. Please feel free to respond to me directly.
In good health,
Morgan
